Ganeshoo Gesundheit
The Great Pink Elephant God Ganeshoo Gesundheit* welcomes all visitors to this his page of spirits enlightenment.
The Great Pink Elephant God Ganeshoo Gesundheit* welcomes all visitors to this his page of spirits enlightenment.
Ganeshoo Gesundheit is the God of all holy spirits. From the lowly watered down Coors served at Denver Bronco games to the Everclear used to spike the punch at so very many Senior Proms. Ganeshoo doesn't favor one class of people more than any other, all can be equally picked in his name.
Followers
of Ganeshoo are frequently referred to as "the life of the party", "continental",
"lush", "hey rummy" and "stop yackin' up in my daisies and get the hell
off my property!" Most Ganeshooians start their worship on Friday
night in one if his holy houses called a "bars", but the highest of Geneshoo's
houses is referred to as an "Irish pub". Not all rituals take place
in a specific bar of worship. There are kegers, office parties, house
parties, tail gates, motorcycle runs, hootenannies, bear busts, retreats,
Burning Man, and Imperial Coronations to satisfy the spirit needs of his
pious devotee's.
The pious follower can often summon the presence of the Great Pink Elephant God by imbibing in copious amounts of his holly waters. These holy fire waters can be found in more numerous and wonderful forms than the simple six fuchsia arms of the statue. Goldshlager, Drambuie, Rumple Mintz, Blue Curaco, Bombay Sapphire, Yukon Jack, Galliano, Chartreuse, Jegermeister and anything by Earnest and Julio Gallo are favorites of Ganeshoo. But even better are daring combinations such as Absolute Citron on the heals of Grand Marnier, Molson Golden, Jose Cuervo and Sutter Home Zinfandel (not necessarily in that order.) After plying several and varied glasses of the appropriate waters of the high life hour after hour, the devout follower will usual be favored with a visit by Ganeshoo ...just before passing out. In homage for the gift of a visit from the great Pink Elephant God it is customary to pray to a more common 'porcelain goddess' found in every household.
Sadly, there are those that wish to restrict the worship of the Great Ganeshoo. Followers of a competing religion call "Bureaucrats" have gone to great lengths in some states to outlaw the worship ceremonies to Ganeshoo. Although they have not succeeded in making it a crime to worship, they have managed to pass laws that only those 21 years of age before one can begin proper worship. In some counties, the followers of Bureaucratese (especially in the South) forbid the sale of Ganeshoo's holy spirits and in others areas simply don't allow sales on Sunday. But the most insidious of all was the antisocial religion of the 20's called Prohibition. Follower of this obscene religion called "Prohibitionists" cause Ganeshoo worshipers to close their spirits houses and cease all sales of his holy waters of life. But you can't keep a good Ganeshooian down. New secret houses of worship were quickly established called speakeasies. The speakeasies flourished as did the continued following of the Pink Elephant God. Soon the false-god Prohibitionists were overturned and Ganeshooism returned to the US like halitosis to a wino.
Today, the Great Pink Elephant God Ganeshoo is paid homage to the world over. Followers of Ganeshoo can be found in every city, burb, berg and shantytown from Chardonay to Malibu, from Manhattan to Sambucca.
So the next time you hear your friends hiccup, remember to wish them
a Great Ganeshoo Gesundheit and Pink Elephant God Bless You.